Are you hiding?
A significant number of my clients are thought leaders; experts in their respective fields with the credentials and experience to back it up. Their career goals include publishing a book, booking bigger speaking engagements, becoming a go-to media expert.
Mysteriously, these goals seem to stall out for months, even years. They have great reasons for the delay, of course. They’re running a business. They’re running a city. Family obligations. Infinite to do lists.
Those great reasons are really excuses. What’s underneath them are bad habits of hiding out. Just like a caregiver who fails to take care of herself, their best qualities have twisted to work against them.
If you have something valuable to offer the world, it’s time to stop hiding.
The first step is to have the courage to reexamine your “reasons” for not taking action in the direction of your goals around impact, expertise, and legacy.
Here are just a few of the ways my clients hide. Do any of these sound familiar?
Perfectionism
Does it take you days to write a simple blog post? Did it take you over a year to launch your new website? Have you been thinking about writing your book for years?
A blog post is not a dissertation. A website is always evolving. The first draft of a book doesn’t look anything like what goes to press.
Fortune favors the doers. Perfection is not required. Simply showing up and prioritizing publishing over perfection is what works.
Caring (Too Much) About What Other (Wrong) People Think
I actually think it’s good to care what others think. It’s how we’re designed; as pack animals wired for community, humans show membership in tribes with behavior that conforms to some kind of norm. Within healthy bounds, this is a good thing.
What doesn’t work is when you get hung up on the idea of some specific person out there who’s going to throw shade on your effort: a negative comment, a mixed review, a flippant tweet.
You are not being graded at life. Respect goes to those who take action, not those who have ideas but never follow through.
Or maybe the person you are scared of is yourself. You’re so hard on yourself for not doing more or doing better that you’re terrified of letting yourself down again so you don’t even try.
It’s time to practice self-compassion. Become your own biggest cheerleader. It will not make you weak. It will give you the love and appreciation you deserve, and in the process, teach others to treat you better too.
Busy-ness
I would suggest to you that the obstacle is not time; we make time for the things that matter to us. The obstacle is filling your time with the wrong things.
What is ruling your calendar? What shapes your priorities? Where is the waste? What is preventing you from changing it? No – what’s really preventing you from making that change?
A lot of what experts do on a daily basis can be delegated, outsourced, or streamlined. Are there things you’re holding onto that you could let go of?
Even if you only have 30 minutes a week to create your content, that’s 26 hours at the end of the year. That’s at least a dozen new articles, podcasts, or book pages you’ll have one year from today that you won’t have if you keep your false loyalty to the cult of busy-ness.
Systems
One way people hide is by building too many steps between start and finish.
You do this by creating a process that’s unnecessarily complicated for the magnitude of the task. This manifests in things like over-tracking, installing bloated software, or creating a procedure for something that’s just a few simple steps.
There is a difference between activity and action.
Even though the ultimate goal of a business is to have internal systems and processes, don’t overdo it too early. There’s no need to create a procedure, delegate actions, or subscribe to software when you can simply hit send.
Needing Everyone Else to Be Okay First
Being service-oriented is commendable. The world needs more people who can put others first.
But the strength of service becomes a weakness when it borders on codependency. If you can’t be okay until someone else is okay, it’s time to solidify the boundary between yourself and others.
There will never be a time when everyone is perfectly okay. So if you’re waiting for that impossible moment, stop.
Success is not a zero-sum game. Spending time and attention on your dreams can lifts others up. Lead by example and watch others be inspired.
External Validation
Are you waiting for permission to go big? Do you need someone else to invite you to speak, to publish your book, to declare you good enough to be heard?
I expressly give you permission to take action toward your impact goal right now.
Even better, reject my permission, because you don’t need it. You are the one who decides that now is the time.
Go boldly forward. The journey is just as rewarding as the destination.
