Yesterday I had the pleasure of being interviewed for a forthcoming article about entrepreneurs and burnout. The fact that founder and leader mental health is being written about at all is a huge win; it hasn’t been a public topic until recently.
The journalist asked why I thought this topic was coming to light right now. Certainly the pandemic is part of it. But I also think it is the confluence of several different events: suicides and early deaths of prominent entrepreneurs who were active in their respective communities, the popularity of Brene Brown and similar social thinkers who advocate for vulnerability and authenticity in leadership, and our new social media landscape where self-disclosure is both easy and expected.
Mental health in entrepreneurship is a gigantic topic, but today I want to speak specifically about burnout.
I’m not a psychologist, but I have experienced burnout and coach executives through business-associated burnout.
In that context, burnout is a close relative of depression triggered by unsustainable circumstances at work. It feels like depression in that it’s an extreme loss of energy, inability to derive joy from work or life, and doesn’t go away simply because you want it to. But burnout is triggered by a series of events, whereas depression can manifest without a clear explanation.
There’s no formula for solving burnout, but the first steps correlate to where you are on the burnout spectrum.
When it comes to burning out at work, which of these three phases are you currently in?
1: I’m sliding toward burnout.
This is the crucial time to prioritize taking care of yourself first. Put on your oxygen mask now. I know this is easier said than done, but you are in the yellow zone approaching the red and you need to pay attention. If you are an early stage entrepreneur, your business does not run without you. If you are a leader, your projects will not thrive without you. You are valuable and you deserve to be healthy.
Clear out your calendar and add in everything that you would do for proper self-care before adding your work schedule back in. A list of ideas is below.
This is a good time to clarify that self-care does not need to cost money; in fact, for me, the most effective self-care activities are free. I become more resilient by not (only) outsourcing my self-care to a masseuse, yoga teacher, or coach. (Therapy is in a different category: mental health issues must be treated just like any other health issue that deserves professional attention.)
Free and accessible self-care practices that have helped me include:
- Meditation
- Connecting with a friend
- Spiritual groups
- Volunteering
- Reading books
- Taking a bath
- Exercise
- Eating well
- Being in nature
- Singing
- Coloring, drawing, crafting
- Just being without needing to achieve something
- Hanging with a pet
- Writing
2: I am in burnout.
If you think you might be burned out already, you probably are.
This is emergency mode. You must take this seriously. Your health is at stake. I am giving you explicit permission to put your health first.
Now it would be lovely if you could take six months off and just rest and be alone and reinvent your life, but this probably isn’t realistic. So you need to simulate these conditions wherever possible.
The way I did this in my worst burnout moment was to create spaces and circumstances that had nothing to do with work. I didn’t realize how much my identity had become fused with my business and I needed to create an identity that was solidly outside of what I do professionally.
The first thing I did was to prioritize recovery like my life depended on it. I started with sleep and time spent doing nothing in hours outside of work. I confided in a few close friends and family members so they knew what I was going through and I didn’t have to navigate it all alone. Next, I rededicated myself to my spiritual practices. Then I changed my diet and set goals around my personal health so I had something to look forward to and feel proud of each day. For a period, I spent time only with the people where I felt safe being my full self; where I could be messy and unresolved. I allowed myself to say no to anything that might threaten my sanity and serenity.
3: I am not in burnout
This state is important to consider because even if you never burn out, somebody in your life absolutely does. Here is it how to deal with that.
First of all, believe them. Just because you don’t experience a certain mental or emotional state doesn’t mean that it does not exist.
Do not bully them. Bullying looks like: giving someone a simplistic solution, giving them advice when they did not ask for advice, trite sayings that make you feel better versus making the other person feel better, avoiding them because you feel uncomfortable with complex or difficult feelings.
Compassion is what is needed. You do not have to solve this for them. You simply need to be with them and remind them of their value. You communicate this through your words, but also through your actions. You can remind them that they have been through difficult things before and come through it. Maybe you don’t need to say anything at all. Maybe you just need to show up with some soup and sit with them while you watch something completely mindless on Netflix. Just sitting with discomfort and not resisting it is true maturity.
Let’s find a new balance
My hope is that mental health and its connection to our work will continue to be a prominent dialogue in professional spaces. Of course this can go out of control when the pendulum swings all the way over to everybody’s not okay all the time and we need to put all our focus on it. That’s not useful, nor is it honest. We must take responsibility for our own mental health and our effect on our teammates and the organization for which we work.
Begin to do this by paying attention to the things, places, people, and situations that energize you, that refill your cup. When you make these things a priority by practicing them regularly, you stay healthy and in a position to truly be of service to those around you, and to be in harmony with yourself. And you are worth it.
