We’re all familiar with the Karen meme: the middle-class, middle-aged, suburban white woman with the choppy blonde haircut who finds her significance through elevating insignificant situations.
Karen takes up the floor at the school board meeting.
Karen calls the cops on brown people for being law-abiding citizens.
Karen wants to speak to the manager.
Karen is a great concept in that she keeps me in check. When I’m about to get haughty, I pause and pull myself together because the last thing I want to be labeled is that kind of Karen. (Apologies to the truly badass women out there named Karen, who take the sudden meme-ification of their given name in stride.)
Which got me thinking… what’s the opposite of a Karen?
I love performing random acts of kindness, like delivering an unexpected gift based on someone’s LinkedIn post or complimenting a stranger. I think it’s hilarious to ask to speak to the manager, then tell said manager that their employee provided the excellent service and deserves a raise.
These impulses circumvent my otherwise cynical heart because they’re part of my original OS: yes, I got it from my Mama.
Linda, my mom, is the ultimate cheerleader. She gives spectacular compliments. She thinks everyone is amazing and capable of anything. She gives the best hugs. She’s quick to forgive and full of compassion.
Linda passes the mic when someone else needs to speak.
Linda gently pulls the speaker aside after bible study to explain why her cute little anecdote was actually racist.
Linda tells the manager that they look just fabulous today.
Lindas inspire us to be better because their simple acts of kindness reinforce our inherent value. Lindas open us up, make us a little softer, a little braver. Lindas create space, which in turn creates a ripple effect of kindness, patience, peace.
After all, Karens don’t change anything with their complaints. Haughtiness creates walls, not bridges. Going in with the intent of teaching a lesson brings out defensiveness, effectively shutting down any chance of a meaningful shift.
The stresses of work, pandemic and politics can cause us to react in Karen mode, but with a little consciousness, we can take a deep breath and choose to respond with a little more Lindaness.
As we navigate a new season of uncertainty and adaptation, let’s make it easier on one another by leaning in to our inner Linda.
